The New Low

I may not know much, but I do know that these are the coolest pizza cutters I've ever seen.

Connor had a school play this morning and I sat in a tiny kid's chair with Murphy on my lap, surrounded by students and other parents. I had thought that Murphy would take a few minutes to see what was going on and would suddenly decide he'd had enough and would start creating havoc, but he surprised me by being so engrossed in it that he didn't move or speak for the entire half hour the play lasted.

He kept turning to everyone around him, saying, "That's my brother. Do you see him? That's Connor." He was so proud of his older brother. Connor was really good. He played a preacher whose sermon was cut short by a barking dog and did the voice of an annoying parrot that kept interupting everyone. One of the girls in play had the part of an elderly southern belle and she spoke in near-hysterical, raspy voice and had the southern accent down to near perfection. I predict that she'll be an actor.

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Other than that, it's more work on my website revamping project, which I am incredibly bored and tired of, but must slog through.

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I found this gruesome little article slightly amusing, An ethics commission in Austria yesterday defended the use of human corpses as crash-test dummies.

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Right. Back to work...

I'm reading a collection of short stories by Nate Liederbach called Doing a Bit of Bleeding. The author lives in Gunnison, Colo. and writes about many places that I can recognize, being a native Colorado dweller myself. It's cool to read about something strange and surreal happening on the streets of Denver, or Colorado Springs. Leiderbach writes like a whirlwind. His characters lives and emotions just seem to spring out from the pages at you, and he's able to tell their stories in a simple few pages. I'm enjoying his style greatly.

I found it interesting that in one of his short tales he makes reference to a scene from another short story by Gene Wolfe, which I just read last month. It always perplexes me when random things happen.

I didn't have to read that story by Gene Wolfe, and I didn't have to pick up the Nate Liederback book on impulse, having never heard of him. It was a very strange coincidence.

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I'm going to do a series of prints of my illustrations with Eric Hamel of Post Mortem Magazine. We're going to do a series in which 6 of my pieces will be in a signed and numbered collection. I don't imagine it will sell incredibly well, but who knows. He's going to cover the cost of printing and we'll split the profits. It sounds like an worthwhile project and I really don't have anything to lose, having wanted to do some prints for some time anyway.

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I'm still working on revamping my website. But hope to finish up soon. When it's done I'm going to do another round of self promotion and try to target some bigger publishers. Sometimes I worry that my style is just too much, visually and if I were to 'tone down' I might attract a bigger audience, but it is what it is and I don't know if I'm willing to compromise.

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I've been feeling very spread out lately. I've been working too much and too hard and probably need a vacation, but sometimes the preparation for a vacation makes it seem more stressful than the actual vacation is worth. I would spend an entire week, stressing and fretting about getting everything done so that I can be out of the office. Then for the first few days of the vacation, I'd be so wound up from trying to make the vacation happen that I'd be worthless. Then I might have two days of peace and then start worrying about having to go to work again and suddenly the vacation would be over and I'm buried under everything that I have to catch up on from being gone.

Perhaps a few impromptu sick days are in order.

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Memo regarding my participation in "Wear a tie to work day""

I'm not participating in it today. I just can't do it. I just am not cut out to wear a tie, or to tuck my shirt in. I felt like I was dying. Literally, I was on the verge of death.

I apologize.

Kirk

Since the newspaper I work regularly dictates that Friday is Hawaiian shirt day (a day made altogther too humiliating since the movie Office Space,) we outcast, anarchistic lot in news, who really don't have a strict dress code (other than don't show up for work in something you might work on your car engine or mow your lawn on a hot day in) have decided to show our resistance by having formal Wednesday. We call it "wear a tie to work day."

Now I know there are people who have to wear a tie every day. You probably think nothing of this, but for someone who rarely, well, never, wears a tie, it's a big deal. (I start to feel like I'm suffocating if I have to tuck in my shirttail.)

For the most part it prompts people to ask if we had a job interview somewhere else today. Which is good. It keeps them wondering.

So now. I am wearing a tie which is choking me. Thank you very much

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The wonderful Enthusiastess clued me into a great resource for artists, and as I was reading it, I started thinking any person involved in any type of art might gain some information from it. It's primarily for illustration, but so worth taking a look at.

The Artsy Fartsy Weblog


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Lots of things going on, but I just don't know if I feel like typing everything.

I've gotten some new emails from people recently who are interested in my art. Word seems to be spreading, I haven't done much in the way of promoting myself lately and probably should. I'm just hesitant to spread myself too thin. I have a number of things that are in limbo, just waiting to print, including a feature artist spread in Cthulhu Sex Magazine and a few book covers, and some other odds and ends that I'm not remembering right now.

I just finished two new illustrations and put them up on my website. To make it easier, you can see them here Among the Fallen and Mourning Autumn. Both were entirely spontaneous and I had no fore thought when I started them. They just started as a collection of things that I liked and ended up...well, together, somehow.

My wife and I just watched Finding Neverland this weekend and, as always, Johnny Depp, was brilliant. I don't know of anything that he isn't involved in that doesn't have merit. The boys cast in the film were amazing as well. In the words of my friend Matt, "I wonder how they got that little boy to be so, crying and cute."

I'm tired this morning due to another, restless, strange sleep last night in which I had a dream where, at one point, I was walking around dressed in men's renaissance period clothing for some reason. I can't remember why or what the events surrounding the dream were, but I remember being annoyed by the lacey frills on my sleeves which kept getting in the way of everything I tried to do.

I spent about an hour or two rebuilding my website last night, before I realized that my eyes were stinging so badly that I couldn't keep them open. I suppose 11-12 hours a day at a computer can do that to you. I sat down this morning with the intention of working on it some more.

I opened up all the applications that I'd need. Opened a few files. Sighed. Stared at the monitor for about 5 minutes. Sighed again, and promptly quit all the applications. (Save changes? No. I hadn't made any changes. Stupid computer) Then I got up and walked away.

I'm reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons on loan from a friend. I thought I'd see what all the hype was about The Da Vinci Code without actually reading that particular book. I'm enjoying Angels and Demons immensely and think I'd probably like his The Da Vinci Code. But, probably won't read it, because I have other things I want to read instead.
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There's a fascinating article on The New Scientist website called 13 things that do not make sense. Some of it flew over my head, but I found the majority of it intriguing.

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My good friend Matt, aka Mr. Gribber has a link to this, rather disconcerting story on his blog. Diner finds finger in bowl of chili. I just can't quite invision the sequence of events leading up to this particular mishap. The entire scenario just baffles me.


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Woke up this morning, tired as usual, maybe a bit more than usual due to the fact that I went out with The Gribber after work to a bar downtown where we drained a couple pitchers.

Things were going pretty smooth. Got dressed, felt a funny sensation in my nose and without thinking, wiped it with the cuff of my sleeve which came away with a bright red smear indicating that the funny sensation was really my nose bleeding.

Morning Shirt change #1

I loaded up the boys and dropped Connor off at school and took Murphy to the toy store. He'd gotten $50 in the mail from the grandparents to spend as he wanted on toys and was going nuts, telling me over and over that he was going to get a big, big, big toy. The entire time we were in the store he was kind of spacey, and quiet. Definetely not his usual self, which is hyper alert and loud. Afterward, as I'm getting ready to put him in his car seat, he suddenly vomits all over the both of us. Either he's sick or he'd drank too much juice and ate too little food at breakfast. I'm hoping for the latter. A woman who was parked next to me offered to help, but I had things easily handled, stash of napkins in the glove compartment and oddly enough I had a spare shirt for Murphy in a backpack in the back of my 4 runner . I've heard of similar situations turning into regular fiascos, but I've been puked on, bled on, you name it, I've been that on. Not much really phases me any more.

I stripped off my puke covered coat and sweater and worked my way, freezing, back home in only a t-shirt, thus bringing us to...

Morning Shirt change #2

All this before 9:30 a.m. What a way to start the day.

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This was on Steven Wedel's blog. I did pretty well, I think.

Official Survivor Congratulations! You scored 78%!

Whether through ferocity or quickness, you made it out. You made the right choice most of the time, but you probably screwed up somewhere. Nobody's perfect, at least you're alive.

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 94% on survivalpoints

Link: The Zombie Scenario Survivor Test written by ci8db4uok on Ok Cupid

For about two weeks now I've been listening to a band called Isis.

(No not the reggae-funk band and not the all gay woman band. Nothing against those bands, they just aren't the band I'm talking about.)

I can't stop listening to their newest album "Panopticon." A friend of mine who had seen them accidently while they were on tour turned me on to them and they just blew him away. I think seeing them live would be incredible.

I have personally never heard anything like these guys and in scratching for a way to describe the band I ran across this review which probably is better than I would have written.

"The quite rude beginning and the actually ambush-like heaviness of the opener make way for a perfectly showcased hell ride through fantastic soundscapes, and the overwhelming feeling of these five exceptional musicians for progressive and yet moving as well as catchy melodies is simply unbelievable...ultra-heavy guitar walls reign, viscous as lava, hard as Krupp’s steel, boneshaking howling complete with wonderfully showcased and implanted clear vocals, powerful as well as hypnotizing drumming and deeply rumbling basses. From blazing fits of rage to minimalistic and heavily menacing sound puzzlings everything is present. At that, the connections of the single tracks are surprising and make it hard for you to only mention one single song as a check out tip and thus choose it over the other highlights matching it. Principally, “Panopticon” has to be enjoyed as a whole to be able to comprehend the greatness and elevation of this milestone in its whole."

There are some samples of some of their songs here

J.C. If you haven't heard of this band. You must hear them. I think you would really like them.

Well. Yes. I haven't updated in a long time.

Why? Well, there's just a lot of complicated scenarios going on right now in the world of me and to write about one would entrench me into writing about another...and another and so on.

So, I chose to not write about any of them. Many things were complicated and personal and, well, complicated and quite personal.

If you must know, things are still a bit mucky but seem to be getting a little better.

I've updated my website with a number of new illustrations which may or may not be new to you, depending on whether you've seen them before...or not. For those that have never seen it, my art site can be found at kirkalberts.com

I'm going to be revamping it as I get time to include some of the book covers that I've done and some other odds and ends. I've been putting it off, because website design makes my head hurt.

Since, I feel like I'm ready to start journalling again, I think I will leave it at that for now. Also because I need to go chase my two-year old down, who turned three today, and get him ready for bed.

Everyone wish Murphy a happy birthday and I'll pass it along to him (wink)





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God lord, I need a vacation. As the Steven Wedel put it, "I need a vacation. From everything."

I'm tired, just very tired.

Every night I say to myself, ok, tonight, just go to bed. You need some sleep. Just go to bed already. Then I realize it's quiet. The kids are asleep. My wife is in bed. Hey! I could get something done. So I start messing around with the ideas for something art related that have been raging through my head all day and next thing I know it's 1:30 a.m. I know that in about 5-6 hours I'll have to get rolling again and I also know that after I try to go to sleep, I'll lay there, mind going 700 miles per hour for a good hour or so before I finally fall into oblivion.

The funny thing is, when morning comes and as soon as I realize that I'm awake and can get through the pain of that realization, the first thing that I want to do is start working on whatever it is that I had been working on before I went to bed.

And I would, if the moment everyone is awake the house didn't erupt into a frenzy of activity that must be monitored closely.

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Last night, I worked on a piece for a book cover for an author that I've been in contact with until 1:40 a.m. I'm not going to say who it is, because I'm keeping it a secret until the book is done and he can reveal all on his own. I think the illustration turned out really nice and this morning I sent him a preview of it along with some text worked up into a book cover design. I'm hoping he'll be suprised.

A certain part of me decided to work on it and to send him a look at a potential cover to give him a little motivation to keep going. I hope it worked.

He sent me some of the beginnings of his truly mesmerizing story earlier this week. The line, "The dust eels are coming and you must understand," has been haunting me all day.

If you know who I'm talking about, shhhhh. It's a secret.

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You scored as Anarchism. <'Imunimaginative's Deviantart Page'> </td> Anarchism 92% Communism 75% Socialist 67% Republican 58% Democrat 58% Fascism 50% Nazi 25% Green 25% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

I had no idea.

I guess shawn and I should get together and hang out doing lots of things anarchy related.

Right as my Mac G5 (older model) at work was finishing up exporting a particularly large graphic this message popped up:



I managed to take a screenshot, right before the confounded thing locked up solid.

You can imagine my suprise. I had no idea my computer was capable of expecting such an object, and now I'm a little disgusted with it.

Requests for my artwork seems to come in great blowing gusts, in which 3-5 people are asking me to do something for them and in most cases it's, "we're hoping to go to press in the next week or so. It's not a huge rush," but please do hurry. That part at the end is always implied.

So, I find the gears that make me go which are usually the first gear and skip all the others until around the fourth gear and sometimes I find reverse. Then everything is done and I ship proofs off to all the people I'm working with and wait.

And wait...and wait some more.

Then usually wait some more.

And just when I think that all the people who I'm doing something for have suddenly vanished, I get a few hasty emails back saying the things they say and that they'll get back to me with all the information I need so that I can finalize the artwork.

And then I wait some more.

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I'm finding that the quickest way to insanity and potential early residence in the local cemetary is rooted in trying to get my oldest son off to school in the morning. It's like herding cats. If someone is not constantly getting him along, he'll stare into the cupboard for 25-30 minutes trying to select which cereal he wants, he'll stare at the walls, pace back and forth, anything that can be done to decimate the hour and a half he has to get ready to school is tested.

I know he thinks a lot, about practically everything and it's not that he's challenged in any way. He's in 3rd grade and reads at an 8th graders level, he can solve math equations that stump me and has a vocabulary that rivals most adults that I know, but sometimes...

Well..

This morning it took him about 10 minutes to decide whether he wanted to wear a pull over sweatshirt or a regular jacket. Granted a good 2 minutes was lost in argument with me after I suggested that he wear a jacket because the alternative would mess his hair up.

If I could simply skip mornings and go hide in our utility shed in the back yard until the dust settles, I would. I dread mornings.

I found a link to this article on how people smile differently in Britian than they do in America on Neil Gaiman's journal and found it interesting, if not a bit odd.

I just never thought that people smiled differently depending on where they're from. I always thought a smile was a smile and that's that.

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I had written about how I had to attend an awards ceremony over the weekend in which I did, in fact, win not one plaque -- as I had originally thought I would -- but two plaques.

Both were first place for two different graphics in two seperate newspaper contests. I hadn't even signed up to attend one of the awards presentations, thinking that there was no reason to and it wasn't until the ceremony was over and I met some of my coworkers coming out of the ballroom (after I had procured several tall vodka and cranberry juice drinks from the bar) that I was told I was a winner and that someone else had to pretend to be me to recieve the award.

So now I have two shiney new awards that have been added to the a collection of other awards, dating back to 1998 that I keep in a drawer next to my computer at home. One of these days I will manage to find a place for them to hang on one of the few blank walls of our home or so I keep telling myself.

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I learned today that an author chose one of my illustrations for the cover of his an upcoming book, after his publisher had already selected an illustration by another artist.

The publisher had asked me to do the book cover design (text, layout, etc.) using the other artists work and had specified that he wanted me to try to cover up a particularily gruesome portion of the illustration that the author was hesitant about.

The illustration in question was truly a nice piece, but was very gruesome.

On a whim I mentioned to the publisher that I had been working on something that might fit the story, in the event that the art still didn't work out, knowing that the author was still squeamish about the chosen artwork.

The publisher asked me to send it and the author sent an email back to him within the hour saying, "That's great, I love it. I want that one instead."

Part of me feels a little bit dishonest about the entire ordeal, while part of me doesn't feel that way at all. As an artist I think I would feel a bit put out by such a situation, but as I look at it from the author's perspective, I think I may have done the right thing.

Perhaps I would have felt even worse, knowing the author was going to end up with something he didn't like and I felt that I could provide a better bit of work as a ready alternative, and didn't.

I suppose the bottom line is that it's a dog eat dog world, and while I would never want to create any animosity with anyone else out there (especially in the horror/dark fantasy genre), I do feel that if I'm ever going maintain any level of success I'll need to learn to play the game better than the other guy.

Something like that....

In case of rapture

This guy's "software" will send email out to all your loved ones informing them that you have been taken in the rapture and they shouldn't worry about you.

Don't delay, the rapture could happen any second.

raptureletters.com

The very idea of this "service" just brings up more questions that I care to ponder at this time.

Oh yeah, did I mention that he takes donations?

I had an very enjoyable evening with my friend Jason Sharp last night. He and I met at Old Chicagos and killed a few pitchers of beer and shots of jagermeister while we caught up with each other before going to see a movie. I hadn't seen him in months and had truly missed his humor, wit and his rather unique insight into any given situation. There are few people who I share such strong friendship with, and even fewer people that can make me laugh as much as Jason and I had missed him more than I realized.

We had intended on going to watch Constantine (which I have seen, but wanted to see again) but opted for the movie Boogieman, which was quite good, in a scary, "What in the hell is going on?" sort of way. The filming was interesting and kept you off-kilter and I honestly don't know if I've ever heard a better use of sound effects to build tension. It did suffer, however from a lack of storyline and the plot was unrealized at best, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

We and only two other people were in the theater and I think that made it all the more fun.

We also cemented the idea for a story with the working title "Unseen" that he and I have been working on. What we had originally thought should be a script for a movie, we realized would make a perfect graphic novel. Thus, my mind has been racing with ideas and I can't wait to start working on it.

I'm sure I'll go into more about it at a later date.

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A rather cool idea for kitchen knives

I MUST have this:

Voodoo display with 5 kitchen knives

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Eugie foster has put up the art I did for her upcoming dual story release Inspirations End/Still My Beating Heart on her journal and you can go here to see it.

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I'm terribly busy today, trying to get everything done so I can take tomorrow off to go to a newspaper awards ceremony in Denver where I'll recieve a plaque, or certificate of some kind for something I did. It will be a chance to dress up and rub elbows with other newspaper-types that I really don't have anything in common with, and as for elbow-rubbing, I usually find myself in utter avoidance of it, preferring instead to seek out unpopulated room corners in which to sit and pretend to enjoy myself. My wife is looking forward to it much more than I am. If it were up to me, I think I'd skip the entire thing, but it's not. So I guess I'll go...

Being a fan of Brad Anderson's Session 9 which ranks high up in my top ten horror/suspense movies, I can't wait to see this

The Machinist

If it's anything like Session 9, it's going to be a very unnerving, scary movie. My wife, who loves movies like The Ring and The Sixth Sense and will watch those repeatedly, won't watch Session 9 with me. (She reluctantly even let's me have it in the house.)

Ever seen the deleted scenes in Session 9? Well... if you haven't, you should.

An interesting fact about the movie:

The producers of the film claim that Christian Bale dropped from about 190 pounds in weight down to about 130 pounds in weight to make (The Machinist). They also claim that Bale actually wanted to drop down to 110 pounds, but that they would not let him go below 130 out of fear that his health could be in too much danger if he did. His diet consisted of one can of tuna and an apple per day. His 63 pound weight loss is said to be a record for any actor for a movie role. He since gained the weight back.

Now that's dedication.

This morning, I finished up cover art for Eugie Foster's upcoming release Inspirations End/Be Still My Beating Heart which is being published by Scrybe Press. I sent previews to Eugie, who was really excited about them and asked when she could put them on her blog to which I said, you should do it immediately.

The book is actually two stories about vampires and though I only got to read a little bit of each, what I did read was very good.

Over the weekend I also finished another cover for Phoebe Wray's Sailors of Kannar which is due to be released very soon, also from Scrybe Press. Sailors of Kannar was a little different type of story than I'm used to working with in that it is more along the lines of fantasy, but I enjoyed working on it nonetheless.

I would post the covers here, but to tell you the truth. I've been stricken with a severe moment of laziness.

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Surreal Magazine has asked me to do some art for their upcoming second issue, and very soon, I need to start working on cover art for the fourth issue of Post Mortem Magazine along with a cover design for a Jason Brannon release and a myriad of other odds and ends that I've been putting off.

If I didn't know better -- which I actually do -- I'd say that I am really, really busy.

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Tomorrow night, I'm going to see Constantine for the second time with my good friend Jason, who I haven't seen in a very long time. I recently won some free movie tickets and can't think of a better way to use them than to treat a friend to a movie. That is, only after we down a few pitchers at the Old Chicagos near the movie theater.

When I was going to art school, I took 2 years of figure drawing. You know, drawing naked people.

Somewhere I have giant newsprint tablets loaded with sketches, paintings, chalks and inks of nude models that I hope I never have to see again. The last place I can remember them residing is somewhere in the basement of my parent's house, buried under boxes of books, old mangled comics and magazines. They can stay there.

The class was a little strange at first, but after the first month or so you stop seeing the person as a nude model and more as something that you have to create on paper so you can get your credits.

The models, with the exception of a rare few were, quite frankly, not very erotic, not particularly well groomed, not always physically fit and they weren't always female. (I hated having to draw that fat, bearded old man that showed up every so often.)

Figure drawing would have been a hell of a lot more exciting if it were more like this:

'Artful' strippers escape censure'

"Spotting a loophole in the law, Mr Teague ordered his dancers to altogether abandon the few garments they wore for the "art classes"."

I'm sure it would be a very popular class among the male population on campus.